Are you addicted to struggle? Here's what you can do instead

How true does the following statement look, feel or sound to you? "I STRUGGLE TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS". Rate it on a scale of 1-10 now.

If it's registering higher than a 4, then the likelihood is that your nervous system is currently wired to expect and create struggle in your life.

HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

We are pre-wired for struggle from childhood. If you think about it, the whole birthing experience is about struggle - it can become wired into our nervous systems from that point onwards. Then, depending on your upbringing, there will be various struggles that will seem to keep recurring throughout your life, no matter how hard you seem to work at them.

THIS HAD LONG BEEN A PUZZLEMENT TO ME. Two things that I worked at all the time - my weight and my income - are two things that MANY people work at (hint: think about the culture and environment we are brought up in). It didn't seem to matter HOW MUCH ENERGY I PUT IN - these two things seemed to elude me for lasting, consistent success.

SURE, I COULD LOSE WEIGHT - but could I keep it off? No!

SURE, I COULD MAKE MONEY - but could I build a sustainable income (the level of which I aspired to)? No...

... and I just couldn't understand why, because I was WORKING on all levels: mind, body and soul.

THEN, IT FINALLY CAME TO ME... (actually, I believe the Angels, who I communicate with daily, finally said, "enough - here is your answer!")

I HAVE TRAUMA BONDS AROUND MONEY AND I HAVE TRAUMA BONDS AROUND MY WEIGHT!

WHAT IS A TRAUMA BOND?

It's a bond that we create, as children, to things that feel familiar and within their familiarity they feel safe, because we know what to expect - we know how to survive within those circumstances. We may receive temporary relief from the struggle, but this level of success is actually outside of our comfort zone. For most of us, being happy, free, naturally slim and abundantly successful is not normal; it's not what our culture expects or promotes, it's not the environment that we grow up in, nor the messages we receive from school or our parents.

The family environment I grew up in, for example, was a very stressful environment. When it came to money (or lack of), angry shouting and blame was the norm... plus we pretty much all struggled with our weight. In fact, my first diet started when I was 14 because I was bigger than my friends at school, so I modelled those around me (my family, who also dieted on a regular basis).

This environment and behaviour became very familiar to me - I continued to seek out those scenarios in my own life, in order to continue the feelings of familiarity. What happens is we get used to the status quo of the STRUGGLE within our nervous system - it's a normal level of stress and anxiety, which we become unconscious to, in order to keep recreating the same scenarios, every day.

DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND, LOOK OR FEEL FAMILIAR TO YOU?

If it does, how can you get off the treadmill and recognise this is a pattern of behaviour that you no longer wish to replicate?

Step 1 : Recognise that you have this pattern going on.

Step 2 : When you recognise the pattern happening, choose EASE instead. Actively choose to release the resistance.

EXAMPLE:

You're trying to lose weight. The first two weeks have felt good and pretty easy; you think you've got this nailed. However, you start to notice, despite keeping to the exact same routine for the past two weeks, that you now start to feel hungrier... and suddenly, you can't stop thinking about food. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

Without going into detail (about hormones that get activated in our bodies when we want to lose weight, that cause us to feel hungrier) - basically, your body is repeating a pattern of behaviour to keep it in the 'FAMILIAR ZONE' of your current weight and shape. Now, normal behaviour from this point perhaps, is to try and keep going for a week or two, but the hunger is increasing... you don't want to keep obsessing about food but eventually you cave in, binge on something and admit defeat, resigning yourself to the idea that "maybe you're just not destined to be slim".

WHAT CAN YOU DO INSTEAD?

How about asking yourself:
"What feels easy here?"
"What's the easiest thing for me to do, in order to stick with my goals?"
"How can I choose ease here, instead of struggle?"

What we resist, persists. The more we keep pushing against something, like the struggle which we're addicted to, the more we will keep repeating the patterns of behaviour. But what if we just let go of the oars, and go with the flow?

Now, the easy thing may be to eat something because we're hungry, or it may be to drink a glass of water, because we recognise we're not really hungry, we're bored or thirsty. The answer might be to tune into our body and discover what we really want.

As soon as we focus on EASE, we are not focused on STRUGGLE and if we keep reaching for the EASE in each situation, we will keep finding the EASE.

How can this relate to MONEY and SOUL-ALIGNED BUSINESS? Lots!

FAMILIAR STRUGGLE: No clients, no money!

Ask yourself:
"What feels easy here?"
"What's the easiest thing for me to do, in order to stick with my goals?"
"How can I choose ease here, instead of struggle?"

This is where you have to tune into your intuition, becasue it's normal to get caught up in the anxiety of the struggle. Just quieten your mind and ask yourself these questions, listening to your inner wisdom.

"WHAT IS THE EASIEST THING FOR ME TO DO HERE?"

If your intuition is speaking, the reply will always be something that feels light and easy. Be warned, though: your EGO (the part that wants you to struggle) will try to talk you out of it, saying things like: "THAT WON'T WORK!" or "YOU NEED TO WORK HARDER THAN THAT".

If you want to build a soul aligned business, with more money flowing in easily, and attracting your ideal clients, you have to exercise the vibration of EASE rather than STRUGGLE... so, why not start today?

It is a practice, a conscious practice. The more you do it, the more the cycle of familiarity will be of EASE and not STRUGGLE and when you recognise you're going into STRUGGLE, you can just release the oars and choose the EASE instead.

So much love
Jo x

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